Name Ann Coulter's Next Book - The Winners

Check out our coverage in The Washington Post!

CampusProgress.org is proud to announce the winner of our “Name Ann Coulter’s Next Book” contest.

In the spirit of Coulter’s previous masterpieces such as Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right and Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism, CampusProgress.org turned to its community of young people to craft the title for her next work of fiction.

The rules for the contest were simple: The book title had to be the same format as Coulter’s books—a single word, followed by an explanatory subtitle.

While the entires were all creative—truly as unique and delicate as Ms. Coulter herself—there could be only one winner. And that distinctive honor goes to 26-year-old UNCC graduate Ryan Sniatecki of Baltimore, Maryland, for his suggestion:

“Roosevelt: Wheelchair-riding, America-hating terrorist”

For his efforts, Ryan will receive the grand prize—his very own talking Ann Coulter Action Figure. Everyone here at Campus Progress expresses their utmost gratitude to Ryan, not only for participating but for the fact that the doll scares the hell out of us and we’re anxious to get the thing out of our office.

In addition, our webmaster, August, will be reaching out to Ms. Coulter’s editors with the winning entry and the honorable mentions listed below offering them all as possible future book titles. Any response from Coulter or her editor, cease-and-desist letters included, will be posted here.

Here’s a selection of some of the best runners-up:

• Pander: How character assassination and name-calling will make you popular and rich


• Witchhunt: I Saw Liberals Speaking With The Devil!


• Democracy: The Liberal Plot to Feed Your Children to the Poor


• Liberals: Liberals, Liberals, Liberals, Liberals, Joe McCarthy


• Damn: I can’t believe I get away with this!


• Liars: “Charity,” “Tolerance,” and Seven Other Words Liberals Just Made Up to Confuse You


• Help: I’m Out Of Liberal People, Places And Organizations To Hate


• Crazy: Why My Divorce from Reality Should be Declared an Annulment and my Obvious Loss of my Marbles Should be Overlooked Because of my Extreme Hot Blonde Sexiness as Portrayed in the Many Posed Photos of Me on my Website, Even Though All You Have to Do is Look Into My Eyes To Hear the Whistling Sucking Void Where my Soul Presumably Once Was


• Truth: lalalalala, I’m not listening!


• Attack: Fly, my monkeys, fly!


• Ann: Doesn’t Eat, Shoots, and Never Leaves

Keep checking Campus Progress for upcoming contests. And thanks for playing, everyone!

Have your own favorite pick? Want to suggest more titles? Discuss the results of our contest on the Campus Progress blogs.

Read more about Ann in our bio – part of Campus Progress’s “Know Your Right-Wing Speakers” series. And read Ann’s subtle analysis of the women’s vote in our Campus Progress ad running in college papers across America.