Grade This! - March 11, 2005

Our Weekly Wrap-Up: Kansas gay ban, Dungeons & Dragons, 50 Cent, gerrymandering, Social Security spinmeisters and more.

Partition This!

With state economies suffering, you’d think state legislators would be focused on fixing things. Unless, of course, you’re from Washington state, where Senate bill SJM 8009 is aimed at petitioning to divide Washington into two states. The bill, proposed by Bob Morton (R.), has the support of several other lawmakers – all Republican so far. Morton’s fellow Republican, Bob McCaslin: "Look at the election results. We elected Rossi. King County elected Gregoire." And of course, according to Morton, "People who think alike should be united." Who needs to listen to those who are different than us, anyway?

Legislators not signing on to support the bill: A+
Justification given for the idea: "See me after class"
The state of our political dialogue: F
Gilbert Martinez, Stanford University




More from the Propagandocracy

From Newsweek, we get some details about the Bush SS privatization tour:

The White House likes to call them "regular folks" – people with real-life questions about the president’s agenda. Only some are more regular than others. Carlos Huertas was billed as a “concerned grandfather” and “hard-working engineer” when he sat onstage next to President Bush to talk about retirement accounts in downtown Tampa, Fla., last month… Small wonder that Bush found Huertas so convincing. The Florida granddad is an activist for FreedomWorks, a conservative group founded by former vice presidential nominee Jack Kemp and Dick Armey, the former House GOP leader…. FreedomWorks officials tell NEWSWEEK they have worked closely with the administration to coordinate the town halls… At least five of its activists have appeared with Bush, and the group has bused hundreds to eight of his events in recent weeks.

This week it was reported in the Israeli press that incoming soldiers who admit to playing that favorite roleplaying game of all 14-year-old dateless, basement-dwelling boys are automatically given a low-security clearance – barring them from top-level military jobs. The Israeli Defense Force is concerned that these teens are “detached from reality and susceptible to influence.” Especially since the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the popularity of D+D has really taken off in Israel, particularly amongst expats from the Soviet Union. The army seems most concerned not about those whose D+D involvement ends with a deck of cards but, instead, “LARPers” or live-action role players. The article notes that the army is primarily concerned about “soldiers who in their free time dress up as witches and play in forests.” Last we checked, having a rich imagination didn’t keep anyone from serving their country effectively. But for now, D+D loving hawks feeling persecuted by the army’s narrowminded approach to people who like pretending to be wizards, dwarfs and warriors are advised to take a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach.

Dungeons + Dragons: C
State-sanctioned discrimination against D+D geeks: D
Elana Berkowitz, Campus Progress and Jesse Cohen




Baker University Students: Youthful Hope Amid a Sea of Red

When Yankees hear the word “ Kansas,” they usually think of Dorothy and her dog; amber waves of grain; and backward, “red state” values. But a group of civic-minded college students may prove that this last characterization is as much of a myth as the Social Security “crisis.” On April 5th, Kansans will vote on whether to write discrimination into their state constitution when a proposed amendment to ban both civil unions and gay marriage is brought to referendum. In anticipation, members of the Baldwin City, Kansas, Baker University-affiliated Students Active for Equality (SAFE) plan to visit 22 towns during their upcoming spring break to educate their fellow citizens on how the pending alteration “breeds discrimination and separates people.” While many believe fighting the amendment in such a conservative state is a lost cause, the SAFE students are convinced that, through their efforts, “love, brotherhood, and fellowship” will prevail over hate, discrimination, and divisiveness. Cheers to the Baker students for their faith in their fellow citizens, and for using their college years to combat prejudicial attacks on equal rights. Let’s hope their neighbors are sensible enough to listen to the youth next month.

Progressive student activism in red states: A (+ the eternal admiration of blue-staters)
Trying to write discrimination into your state constitution: F
Using your spring break to change the world for the better, instead of spending it in a state of decadent (and dangerous) inebriation: A+
Asheesh Siddique, Princeton University

Better Take that Cross Country Road Trip Now

Once every four years, the American Society of Civil Engineers creates a report card on the condition of our nation’s infrastructure and, unsurprisingly, this one was the worst yet. We’re trying to maintain our progressive optimism, but let’s face it, everything is falling apart. Our bridges, roads, sewer systems, dams, railways and waste treatment facilities are all failing to keep up with demand. That means we have roads that are less safe, water that is less drinkable and more full of pollution, more hazardous waste in our neighborhoods, etc. For example, 27 percent of American bridges are structurally unsound or essentially unusable. ASCE estimates it will take an investment of $1.6 trillion dollars to get our infrastructure where it needs to be. The Bush administration shows no signs of paying attention; they continue cutting the budget for things like wastewater management. The overall grade the engineers gave the American infrastructure this year was a D, a bit of a dip from last year’s D+. If America was still in elementary school we would totally be wearing a dunce cap and sitting in the corner and missing out on recess.

Grading things: A+ (fun!)
Plunging into a river polluted with shit because the bridge you tried to cross in that SUV didn’t hold: F
Understanding the necessity of maintaining our nation’s infrastructure: A
Elana Berkowitz, Campus Progress



Beef, Bullets and the Rev

Another Hot 97 shooting. Yup, once again it’s going down. This time rapper 50 Cent and his former protege, The Game, aired their bitter feud on New York’s Hot 97 radio station last Monday – the same station where, in February 2001, Lil’ Kim’s crew and rapper Capone-N-Noreaga had their own little shoot-out, which resulted in Kim being tried for perjury. But that’s a whole other story. What started this one? 50 Cent announced that The Game was booted from the G-Unit clique because he felt that the west coast rapper wasn’t loyal. The end result was a shoot-out – a member of The Game’s crew got shot in what was variously reported as being the groin, leg or butt. But now Reverend Al has stepped in. Sharpton proposed a 90-day ban on airplay for artists connected to violent acts, NOT artists connected to violent lyrics, saying, “There is a difference in having the right to express yourself and in engaging in violence and using the violence to hype record sales, and then polluting young Americans.” Of course, when Ron Artest fought a fan at a Detroit NBA game he was suspended and fined; Sharpton smartly argues that we should have that same accountability in the music biz. Considering that hip-hop is a multibillion dollar industry, maybe artists would curb their behavior if they started to lose 90 days worth of Benjamins for trying to prove a point.

Sharpton’s bright idea A+
Getting shot in the groinlegbutt: F
Hot 97 and their lax regulations: F
Keisha Senter, Campus Progress



Coddyfornian Roulette: The Governator targets gerrymandering

Headline grabbing policy moves have typified Arnold’s irreverent gubernatorial style, and if you ever thought that he was finished making political waves, you would be wrong. In a move that even has some of his closest advisors worried, the Governator has set out to terminate one of the strangest features of the American political landscape – gerrymandering, a practice wherein the partisan majorities in state legislatures are able to draw Congressional district lines in order to create safe seats for members of their own party. “Some of the districts look literally drawn by a drunk with an Etch-A-Sketch,” said Arnold in a press conference early this week. He wants California redistricted by a bipartisan panel of retired judges in time for the 2006 elections. Muffled boos and hisses can be heard on both sides of the aisle. In a political climate where winning is everything, the thought of an election where the people are allowed to pick their politicians instead of the other way around has left many staunch partisans bracing for impact.

Voters picking their politicians (i.e. Democracy): APoliticians picking their voters (i.e. Gerrymandering): F
Imagining a drunken Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to use an Etch-A-Sketch: A+
J. Christopher LaTondresse, Bethel University



Fat Actress plays …

Showtime, the cable network that shows breasts late at night, has brought back tiresome TV actress Kirstie Alley for a new series, and, yes, there’s more of her than ever.  Turns out her pathetic, insecure, fall-apart-at-the-seams neediness schtick works best when she’s playing herself – an actress in decline, in decline in part because she’s … large.  The writing is not bad—taking stereotypes, shooting them down, and then dredging them up again.  I especially liked when Kirstie and her two white assistants give their take on African-Americans.  Turns out they don’t know many; they also don’t keep up so well with current events.  When Colin Powell is proposed as a potential date for Kirstie, it’s pointed out that he’s married – to Condoleezza Rice.  Also good: When Kirstie compares John Goodman, Jason Alexander, and James Gandolfini to various gigantic, blubbery objects and asks why they can get a series, and she – the fictional she – can’t.

Kristie Alley as Kirstie Alley:  B+
NBC President Jeff Zucker as NBC President Jeff Zucker: A-
The guy who played Kirstie’s assistant as Kirstie’s assistant: A
Getting comfortable with our bodies:  Not sure.
Trina Stovall, Los Angeles



Congress Strikes Out

Congress hit a foul ball when investigating steroid use in major league baseball this week, as the House Government Reform Committee sent subpoenas to 11 of the top players and executives of major league baseball. Rep. Henry Waxman of California, the ranking member of the committee, claimed that because the league had failed to investigate properly on its own, Congress would now have to do the dirty work. While WorldCom executives were committing multi-billion dollar accounting fraud, however, members of the committee were very busy complaining that congressional cable doesn’t carry the YES network. Jose Canseco, one of the seven players subpoenaed, has agreed to testify before the committee voluntarily; reportedly motivated by this grand slam opportunity to promote his new book Juiced. The House committee also subpoenaed records from the major leagues, including results of drug testing done over the last 30 years. Philip Schiliro, chief of staff for the Democrats on the committee, said that “getting to the bottom” of this is important, especially for kids. Apparently, our dear friend Phil thinks that futures free from an insurmountable national debt, a secure retirement, or even just safe from Michael Jackson are not as important to American kids these days.

Major League Baseball: D (for allowing delinquent drug use)
Government Reform Committee: B-
House Leadership: F (for allowing baseball to become a priority in American politics)
Michael Caravella, Fordham University